Love Letters,  Rants,  Reflections,  Slice of Life,  Writing Progress

Dear Awkward August

Whatever season I’m currently in is ALWAYS my favorite season.

Dear August,
Do you know how freaking awkward you are?
Especially this year, you just feel really, really awkward.

I have nothing against you, August, at all. Some of my favorite people have birthdays this month!

But being the planner that I am, I sometimes find myself impatient for the next thing: the next big holiday or event, the next trip, or the next phase of a project. This isn’t necessarily a good thing, it’s just how my mind naturally tends to process, but as a result I’ve really been trying to make myself stop and enjoy the time I’m in at the moment. It’s a very intentional thing and isn’t always easy.

So, taking stock, I love that after having something happening almost every weekend, we can sit at home all night and veg out, just me and Wervyn, both together and alone.

I love that I’m in the middle of a job hunt, so my schedule is mine to plan. The world and time are my oyster, and I can spend it on anything I want, and when I use my time wisely, it’s a truly beautiful, productive thing.

Speaking of productive, I’ve had more time to work on my various art projects. Some are almost finished. Some unfinished ones I’m picking up again so I can give them as gifts. Some are brand new but long-awaited. There are sill deadlines, but I have time to reach them comfortably!

My novel is once again getting more complicated as I evaluate great feedback I’ve been getting and think about edits. I see a million different ways I could go with it, and I wish I had an agent who could guide me to the best solution, because I don’t know which one to follow. (I just want to have a published, polished book, is that too much to ask? :P) It’s another place I hate being stuck in, regardless of the time of year. But I have been getting some great ideas for Draft 6 that make me excited, so that’s awesome 😀

I’m restless when I contemplate the next phases of potential employment, as well as continuing in my art and the rest of my life. But I think I’ve come a long way in trying to bring balance to my life, especially I have time to manage it now! It’s something I’ve prayed about and worked towards, so I feel very proud of that. That’s one thing that I also relish during this awkward in-between time of year.

And I’m pleasantly surprised to realize that the weather is only getting better. After a broiling hot summer, when we go walking in evenings as the sun sinks, it’s actually starting to feel cool, and without that nip in the air. I noticed that I was a little warm but incredibly comfortable on our walk yesterday, and that’s a beautiful weather phenomena for someone who is almost always too hot or too cold.

But inevitably, I admire that the humidity is fading, and I remember how even though it still feels warm, all the schools are in session again. And then I start to get excited because I know that autumnnnn is just around the corner.

OMG Autumn
Sparkly, sparkly holiday racks and pumpkin-flavored everything!!!!!

Less than 2 weeks til Dragon*Con, and next is Talk Like a Pirate Day, then Halloween, Werv’s & my anniversary, Thanksgiving, my birthday, Christmas and New Years.

OMG it’s like I’m going up a hill on a roller coaster and I just want to reach the top because the suspense is killing me!

Okay, me, deeeeep breaths. Deep breaths.

I’m in the deep breath before the plunge. One long drawn-out breath. And in that moment I am quiet, anxiety stinging in my lungs as it strains pleasantly against the air I’m taking in.

And as I start thinking how summer is slipping away, and how the cicadas and the hibiscus and honeysuckle will die off, I start to feel nostalgic for summer, and all the time I have right now, before the holiday rush. Of course I do. Because I can’t take myself anywhere.

Might as well stop and enjoy it! 😀

(I just realized that this is a common theme for me recently. Maybe I’ll learn it someday.)

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